Billy Idol Birthday Concert

Stephen's birthday isn't until the end of the month, but we started celebrating early at the Billy Idol concert on Monday at the Red Butte Garden amphitheater. It was our first time seeing a concert at this awesome venue (we've only been here for outdoor movies before), and we hope it won't be our last!

We made a mandatory pit stop at Thirst Drinks at the Heritage Center (the dining hall in the U of U residence halls, just below Red Butte) right before the concert, because A- Stephen loves Mountain Dew, B- He also loves winning prizes, and he won a gift card from Thirst in an Instagram contest.

We learned that for Red Butte concerts, people line up starting at 10am! We arrived about an hour before the door opened, and rather than waiting in line, we got ourselves a soda treat. :) We were still able to get pretty decent seats, since it was just two of us squeezing in. Lesson learned: don't arrive insanely early, unless you have a large group to find seats for. Instead, get a treat, and arrive right at 6pm when the doors open. Then, act fast to snag some lawn space! (Our tickets were general admission, so it was every man for himself on the lawn.)

It's been an unusually warm summer, but it got cool enough on this night that we needed some light jackets. It was wonderful! Fall is my favorite season, and I am excited for temperatures to cool down.

Of note: three songs in, Billy had taken his shirt off. He later threw it out into the crowd. There were several costume changes. It was all very interesting. Also, there were a lot of F words. I kept trying to make a video while he was talking but kept having to start over because I didn't want F words in my video. In the end, I got this photo and some video for Instagram stories (on my Highlights, under Concerts, after all my Taylor Swift posts!):

Can't wait to keep the birthday celebrations going this month! 

Wedding Website Info (Getting to know The Chatwinners!)

Stephen and I made a wedding website before our wedding last year. It's still live on The Knot, but I don't know how long it'll live online. I wanted to preserve some of that info, juuuust in case it ever disappears, and I figured it would be a fun way for my RWL peeps to get to know The Chatwinners a little better. :)

Our Story

Once upon a time, in the year 1984, two little babies were born. Stephen came first, and Yándary followed 60 days later. 31 years later, it would take an iPhone, a Kindle, and a dating app called Bumble to bring them together.

As Stephen and Yándary got to know each other, they realized they had a lot in common and had actually had similar life experiences! Both of them majored in Political Science at the University of Utah. Both of them joined LDS sororities/fraternities in the fall of 2003. Both of them had spent time living in Yándary's favorite city, Washington, DC. It's a wonder their paths hadn't crossed sooner than the spring of 2016! In addition to their shared life experiences, Yándary and Stephen also share a love of thrift store shopping, cheeseburgers (even though Yándary is now lactose intolerant… sniff), all things Harry Potter, scoring good deals, winning online giveaways, and, of course, each other.

About Us

STEPHEN

Stephen was born and raised in Salt Lake City. He served an LDS mission to Lansing, Michigan and then earned a B.A. in Political Science, a B.S. in International studies, and a Master's in Public Policy from the University of Utah. (He's an over-achiever.) While he was an undergraduate at the U, Stephen was a collegiate squash player and a member of the Sigma Chi fraternity. He currently works doing data management for the Neurosciences Department at Intermountain Hospital in Murray (aka he is really smart and is good with numbers and Excel). In his spare time, he enjoys sunning himself, playing squash (he actually played in a squash tournament the night he proposed to Yándary!), rock climbing, thrifting, and trying to teach Yándary how to sit still. His favorite snacks include Cheetos, Mountain Dew, and frozen pizza. ;)

YÁNDARY

Yándary was born in El Salvador and raised mostly in Riverdale, Utah. She served an LDS mission to Oakland, California, where she got really good at walking backwards (she served at the Visitors' Center ;) ). She also earned a B.S. in Political Science at the University of Utah (she and Stephen overlapped a bit in their college years but never crossed paths!), and she went to graduate school in DC at The George Washington University's Graduate School of Political Management. She lived in DC for five years before moving back to Utah two years ago to work for the Utah Democratic Party. She now works doing Communications and Community Relations for the Salt Lake City School District. In her spare time, she enjoys thrifting, baking chocolate-chip cookies, running, eating delicious things,and going on walks with Stephen. :)

Fun Facts

We filled out a questionnaire for a bridal shower game and thought we'd share our answers to help you get to know us a little better!

Yándary's Answers

1. What was your first job?

A: Baby-sitting (age 12) and Chick-fil-A (high school)

2. How many siblings do you have?

A: I'm the oldest of five kids. I have one sister and three brothers.

3. What's your favorite holiday?

A: My birthday!

4. How many languages do you speak? What are they?

A: 2.25: English, Spanish, and a little German (German was one of my college minors – the other one was Campaign Management – but I haven't used it since my study abroad in 2004!)

5. What musical instrument(s) do you play?

A: Violin

6. What is Stephen's best character trait?

A: He is so patient! Whether I'm running late (yet again), can't decide what I want for dinner, or am having an off day, he is so patient and loving and kind. (Also, he smells good!)

7. What is your favorite food and/or meal?

A: Pupusas!

8. What are your top three movies of all time, preferably in order?

A: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Legally Blonde

9. What is your "guilty pleasure" TV show to watch?

A: Right now? The O.C. with Stephen.

10. What is the best book you read in the last 1-2 years?

A: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo.

11. How long do spend getting ready in the morning?

A: At least an hour; maybe more!

12. If you had unlimited funds and could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?

A: Everywhere! But Thailand and Europe first.

13. What is your favorite midnight snack, if/when you get the munchies?

A: Frozen balls of chocolate-chip cookie dough, which are always in stock in my freezer. :)

Stephen's Answers

1. What was your first job?

A: Paper boy

2. How many siblings do you have?

A: Five (one sister, four brothers). I'm the youngest of six kids.

3. What's your favorite holiday?

A: Memorial Day, because I get a day off and don't have to do anything.

4. How many languages do you speak? What are they?

A: 1: LOVE (English)

5. What musical instrument(s) do you play?

A: None

6. What is Yándary best character trait?

A: Her niceness.

7. What is your favorite food and/or meal?

A: Pupusas

8. What are your top 3 movies of all time, preferably in order?

A: Willow, Thoroughly Modern Millie, What's Up, Doc?

9. What is your "guilty pleasure" TV show to watch?

A: The O.C.

10. What is the best book you read in the last 1-2 years?

A: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

11. How long do spend getting ready in the morning?

A: 10 minutes

12. If you had unlimited funds and could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?

A: Thailand

13. What is your favorite midnight snack, if/when you get the munchies?

A: Cheetos

6 months!

Today is our 6-month anniversary! I still need to do a few real posts (I say a few, because there is NO WAY I could possibly share all the photos I want to share in just one post!) about our wedding, but I didn't want today to pass by without celebrating on this blog the fact that we've been married for a whole 6 months. :)

To mark the occasion, here are six photos from our wedding day:

Stephen is everything I could have hoped for and more, and these past six months have been the best ones of my life. We've learned a lot and we've grown a lot. We've made some wonderful memories, and I'm excited for all that's yet to come. Happy 6-month anniversary, boo! 💕💏😍

The Last Seven Months

The last few months have been a wild ride, such that... I haven't even blogged since February. 😅😬 I suppose the quickest way to give an update is via bullet points. In no particular order, here's a recap of my last seven months:

• In February, I got laid off. :( Naturally, we were super bummed about this. Applying and interviewing for jobs is THE WORST!

• A few weeks later, we got engaged! I knew Stephen had bought my ring at the end of January, and he didn't propose until MARCH 3rd. 😵😱 It was the longest six weeks of my life!

• My Tío Jose passed away at the end of February. :( He had been sick for a few months, and I know he had been in pain, but it was still really sad. I'm glad I was able to use sky miles to travel to his funeral in California. And actually, Stephen proposed just a few hours before I flew out. It was really lovely and comforting to be gathered with family to celebrate my uncle's life that weekend. And it was nice to have some happy news to (tactfully) share amid our sorrow.

• We celebrated our one-year dating anniversary!

• I learned how to ski! Two winters ago, I had purchased a lessons + season pass package to Snowbasin. The silver lining to getting laid off is that I had more time to actually use my pass. I updated briefly on this two posts ago, and I'm happy to say things improved after that post. I'm definitely still a beginner, but I felt a lot more confident towards the end of the season and even managed to make it down a blue run (albeit very, VERY slowly)! AND I didn't run over any more children.

• I moved out of my little apartment! This was harder than I imagined it would be. I was so excited to be marrying Stephen. My lease ended at the end of April, and we decided it made sense both logistically and financially for me to move into our duplex first (Stephen bought a duplex last fall, and we'd spent the previous few months fixing it up, so he hadn't moved in yet). It was hard for a few reasons. 1- I loved my little apartment. I'd put so much care and effort into fixing it up and decorating it just so. It was hard to let that go. 2- While I was beyond excited to marry my bestie, I was concerned that I would have a hard time adjusting to living with someone else again. Living alone had been such a treat! (I'm happy to report that living with Stephen is an even more delightful treat!) 3- Stephen is amazing and always kept a "we" mindset about things, but part of me still felt a little bit like a mooch living in "his" house by myself? I've definitely gotten over that, but it was an adjustment. I've had an entire life before this chapter. I'm used to being on my own, taking care of myself, etc, and while I know I wasn't giving that up, part of me felt like I was. (I wasn't. I just had to get over myself a little bit.)

• We spent months and months and months working on our house. We're still not quite done, but we're hosting family for a birthday brunch for Stephen this weekend, and we're at least to a place where we can mostly do that. Ha. :) If all else fails, we'll just shove everything into the second bedroom and shut the door. ;)

• We planted a little garden, and it's still alive! I've never successfully kept plants alive for longer than a few weeks, but so far, we've eaten cucumber and zucchini, and we hope to have some tomatoes soon! We have a watermelon plant that might not have anything for us, and we planted a baby nectarine tree that will hopefully bear fruit in future years. Our lime tree got moved to my office yesterday, where it will live out the winter next to my big windows.

• I started a new job in July! I was grateful to a good friend who passed along the job link to me shortly after I lost my job in February. It's a great opportunity for me, and even though the learning curve has been steep, I'm really enjoying it so far.

• I free-lanced this spring/summer, and I learned I am not cut out for being an entrepreneur. (I think?) I also worked as a Matchmaker for a hot second, mostly because it sounded like fun. What I learned is that being a paid matchmaker is the WORST. Matchmaking for fun is, well, fun! 

• Two weeks after I started my new job.... WE GOT MARRIED!! :) Wedding planning is one of the worst and most unenjoyable things I've ever done, but our wedding was SO much fun! We were actually a little sad to leave at the end of the night, because we were having such a great time. It was so wonderful to have the people we love most gathered in one place to celebrate with us. I loved meeting people who love my Stephen and have played an important part in his life, and I loved getting to introduce him to my people. It meant so much to have so many of our loved ones travel from so far to celebrate with us. We were married on July 21, 2017 in the Ogden, Utah LDS Temple. I'd love to write more about our wedding day in a separate blog post, but it is the most wonderful thing in the world to be married to my best friend. I count my lucky stars every day to have found him and to be his wife forever. The actual wedding day felt like a blur (I can barely even remember our sealing), but these last few months have been the greatest adventure.

• We just got back from our honeymoon! This deserves its own post also, but we went to London and Paris and just had the best time. :) 

Since I last posted...

• I became an aunt! 😆

  

• we both turned 32

• 9 + months strong with this dreamboat! 😍 

• I just finished my time with the Utah Democrats and am looking for my next Comms/Digital opportunity in SLC. (So if you know of anything, let me know? I'm open to FT opportunities as well as contract/consulting work.)

• We voted! (#WithHer, of course. 2016 was actually my first year voting a straight Democratic ticket.) 

Unfortunately, we lost bigly on November 8th, so....

• I took refuge in Europe (London, Paris, Amsterdam, and Brugges for 10 days) and had the time of my life with Stephie and Nif! #misadventuresineurope

Amsterdam ❤️ 

• Every time I read the news, it feels like the country is up in flames. But also, it's been incredible to see the goodness of the people around me in response.

March 4 Refugees in SLC

SLC Women's March

• I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It explains a lot, and I'm grateful to A- still have health insurance, B- to have found just the right therapist, C- for modern medicine and all the ways in which it improves our lives, D- for an uber-supportive boo. I am so blessed! <3

• Went to DC for Kathryn's wedding!

• Spent our first holiday season together

• Some shopping. ;)

• Started ski lessons at Snowbasin. It ain't going so well. 😳  Last time I was there, I ran over a small child, got yelled at and shamed off the mountain, and basically cried all the way home.

Hope your 2017 has been good so far!

Belay Certified!

Guess who has turned into a rock climbing chick lately?

Here's a hint: it's the same person who got belay certified a week ago today.

Here's another hint: it's ME!

I def had never imagined myself as the sort of girl who rock climbs, but I am now a member of a rock climbing club, and I have my own harness, belay device, locking carabiner, and climbing shoes. Who am I?? 

Good thing it's been really fun! And thanks to Stephen and his friends for teaching me!

PS Here is a bonus fun photo of us about three decades ago 😂: 

Happy Monday, everyone!

Just Some Thoughts on Vulnerability and Legitimate Needs vs Neediness

Wow, I can't believe it's been three months since I last posted! Unfortunately, I'm going to write about the same topic as last time: vulnerability in dating. I've given this topic a lot of thought in the last few months, and especially so in the last few weeks.

As a 31-year old, unmarried, professional, LDS woman, I've grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle. One in which I am my own boss. Where I don't account to anyone else for my time, my money, or my day-to-day choices. If I want to spend my whole evening sitting on the couch, painting my nails, and binge-watching The Mindy Project, I do it. If I want to drop more money than I should on a purse or new shoes, I can. If I decide to go out of town spur of the moment with friends, who's to say I can't? I've been taking care of myself for so long, and I know I can keep taking care of myself for many years yet.

I've grown so accustomed to my independence, it's been a bit of an adjustment to factor in another person. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Or at least I'm trying to not let it be a bad thing. It's been humbling to go through the experience of letting another person into my life. I think I'm still working out where the balance is. Where do I let go of my "I'm an independent woman; hear me roar!" mentality and let someone else be a part of my life equation? Is it when I can't reach for something on the top shelf and it's easy to get someone taller to just do it? Or when I need to go to Instacare and could totally go on my own, but wouldn't it be nice to let him take me instead?

I worry that instead of communicating, "I love you, and I want you to be an important part of my life," I'll communicate an "I am needy" or "I am high maintenance" message, which is counter-productive and untrue. How do you balance asking for what you need, with what they need, all without appearing needy?

And yet... Shouldn't we grow to the point where we need another person, at least a little bit? Part of me is concerned with needing a boyfriend/partner/husband too much, not just for his sake, but also for my own. I'm afraid of hurting his feelings if I don't need him enough. But I'm also afraid of overwhelming him if I need him too much. Where is the right balance in all this?

I have many other thoughts related to this, but I will let this suffice for now. And if anyone has advice or suggestions on this topic, I welcome feedback and comments!

Running With Boys

Before I delve into the title of this post, please let it be noted – and let the whole world celebrate – that I am a runner once more! After so much time not being able to RUN, of visiting chiropractors, physical therapists, even an orthopedist at one point, I AM RUNNING!! Slowly, but surely. And I am grateful for it!

Now, about running with boys... I have never been an athletic person. This is one of the many reasons I love running. I am slow, but I am dedicated. If I start a run, I will keep running until I am done. That might mean slowing down to a painfully turtle-y pace, but dangitt, I keep running! Needless to say, my slowness means me whilst running does not = me at my finest. So a few weeks ago, when, gasp, a boy, wanted to run with me, I was really hesitant to let him! A- I'm just getting back into running, so I'm extra, extra out of shape... B- This is a boy who is athletic and in much better shape than I am. A boy who rock climbs and plays squash and soccer and such nearly every day. And generally, boys seem to be more athletic than I am, and this one was especially so.

But I had recently read this article (so good!) and remembered this part in particular:

When we first date somebody, we may try to mask our faults and make ourselves as appealing as possible. To develop an honest relationship, however, we must move beyond superficial appearances and allow our true selves to emerge. 

And I was like, awww, crap. My true self in this case = me red-faced, breathless, and sweaty, whilst trudging slowly up the Salt Lake hills, trying desperately to look cool whilst also improving my health. Too soon, I thought... Too soon! But I did it anyway. We went running, and probably due to being so intimidated to run with him, I actually ended up running faster than I normally do. I was red-faced, breathless, and sweaty, but he still seemed to like me at the end, and it was actually kind of fun! Plus, we played on our tire swing afterwards, so that was a win.

I guess what this experience taught me is that it is important to be vulnerable, even in things that might seem trivial. It's scary to open up and let someone see your weaknesses and insecurities, your flaws and all the things you're trying to improve. But how else will they get to know the real you? Odds are, just as you don't completely disregard someone for having a minor flaw, they won't do that to you either, and you'll feel closer to the other person and you'll feel validated, all because you were able to just be you. :)

A word of advice: if you're going to take a photo, take it BEFORE you go on the run, not AFTER. #fail