February 16, 2017

True Love and Valentine's Day

 

I learned a very important lesson this week. I've dated and Dated all sorts of guys in my life. Heck, I even dated one guy on and off for two years in college. Yet, I somehow managed to have never had a date for Valentine's Day -- until this year, that is. And I was super excited!

I made too big a deal of it, and I was humbled by the lesson I learned. My boo is the sweetest, and he thoughtfully selected a gift he knew I would love: a bright red KitchenAid! 😍😍😍 (!!! Though I made sure he knew we couldn't have the bar set that high for future Valentine's gifts, or he'll be sorely disappointed! 😜) It's such a thoughtful, wonderful, amazing, and personal gift! But I placed too much emphasis on all the stuff; on all the things that don't matter. 

I was humbled on Tuesday as I reflected on my Stephen and how truly blessed I am to have him in my life. He is so, so wonderful to me! The latest example: I got really sick this weekend. Bed-ridden, sleep all day, and spend-my-nights-congested sick. On Saturday, he could have done anything: worked on his house, run his own errands, enjoyed his free time. 

Instead, he brought me a care package with soup, medicine, cough drops, Cheetos, nasal spray... NASAL SPRAY! And then he bought me Chinese takeout when I said I was hungry for more than soup, and he spent Saturday binge watching Harry Potter movies with me. If love isn't someone who takes care of me (nasal spray, people!), who puts my needs before his own, and who still wants to cuddle with me and spend time with me when I can't breathe and spend most of my time loudly bowing my nose, I don't know what love is. 

I am such a lucky, lucky girl to have a partner who gave me roses, chocolate, a KitchenAid, and a lovely date night on Valentine's Day, but I am ashamed by how much I had built this day up. What matters most isn't the chocolate, the flowers, and the material things society says I need from my man on a particular day of the year. What is most important is that I am blessed to have a man in my life who loves me 365 days a year, who cherishes me at my best and who stays by my side when I am at my worst. Who forgives me for the times I am selfish or unkind and who motivates me every day to be my best self. Who, when I tell him the Obamas are #relationshipgoals, goes and gives me a Valentine's Day tweet even though he NEVER posts to social media, because he cares about making me happy. What matters is that I am blessed and lucky enough to have My Person in my life; the rest is just stuff.

So every time I use my shiny new KitchenAid, I will remember the lesson I learned this Valentine's Day. I am so, so thankful for my boo. He is THE most important person in my life, and I'm so grateful he is My Person. 

Happy (belated) Valentine's Day, boo! 😘❤️️

February 12, 2017

Since I last posted...


  • I became an aunt! 😆
Baby nephewBaby blessing   
  • we both turned 32
Stephen's 32 32 32 dinner
  • 9 + months strong with this dreamboat! 😍 
Dreamboat ❤️️ Druid arch
PlanetariumMorning tongues 😜
  • I just finished my time with the Utah Democrats and am looking for my next Comms/Digital opportunity in SLC. (So if you know of anything, let me know? I'm open to FT opportunities as well as contract/consulting work.)
Marty O'Malley Utah Dems
  • We voted! (#WithHer, of course. 2016 was actually my first year voting a straight Democratic ticket.) 
Voted!

Unfortunately, we lost bigly on November 8th, so....
  • I took refuge in Europe (London, Paris, Amsterdam, and Brugges for 10 days) and had the time of my life with Stephie and Nif! #misadventuresineurope
Amsterdam!
Amsterdam ❤️ 
  • Every time I read the news, it feels like the country is up in flames. But also, it's been incredible to see the goodness of the people around me in response.
SLC March 4 Refugees
March 4 Refugees in SLC
SLC Women's March
SLC Women's March
  • I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It explains a lot, and I'm grateful to A- still have health insurance, B- to have found just the right therapist, C- for modern medicine and all the ways in which it improves our lives, D- for an uber-supportive boo. I am so blessed! <3
  • Went to DC for Kathryn's wedding!
Kathryn's wedding!
  • Spent our first holiday season together
Chatwin Thanksgiving Matching onesies!
  • Some shopping. ;)
Jewelry shopping
  • Started ski lessons at Snowbasin. It ain't going so well. 😳  Last time I was there, I ran over a small child, got yelled at and shamed off the mountain, and basically cried all the way home.
Ski lessons

Hope your 2017 has been good so far!

September 19, 2016

Belay Certified!

Guess who has turned into a rock climbing chick lately?

Here's a hint: it's the same person who got belay certified a week ago today.

Here's another hint: it's ME!

Belay certified!

I def had never imagined myself as the sort of girl who rock climbs, but I am now a member of a rock climbing club, and I have my own harness, belay device, locking carabiner, and climbing shoes. Who am I?? 

Good thing it's been really fun! And thanks to Stephen and his friends for teaching me!

PS Here is a bonus fun photo of us about three decades ago 😂: 


Baby pictures :)

Happy Monday, everyone!

September 07, 2016

Just Some Thoughts on Vulnerability and Legitimate Needs vs Neediness

Wow, I can't believe it's been three months since I last posted! Unfortunately, I'm going to write about the same topic as last time: vulnerability in dating. I've given this topic a lot of thought in the last few months, and especially so in the last few weeks.

As a 31-year old, unmarried, professional, LDS woman, I've grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle. One in which I am my own boss. Where I don't account to anyone else for my time, my money, or my day-to-day choices. If I want to spend my whole evening sitting on the couch, painting my nails, and binge-watching The Mindy Project, I do it. If I want to drop more money than I should on a purse or new shoes, I can. If I decide to go out of town spur of the moment with friends, who's to say I can't? I've been taking care of myself for so long, and I know I can keep taking care of myself for many years yet.

I've grown so accustomed to my independence, it's been a bit of an adjustment to factor in another person. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Or at least I'm trying to not let it be a bad thing. It's been humbling to go through the experience of letting another person into my life. I think I'm still working out where the balance is. Where do I let go of my "I'm an independent woman; hear me roar!" mentality and let someone else be a part of my life equation? Is it when I can't reach for something on the top shelf and it's easy to get someone taller to just do it? Or when I need to go to Instacare and could totally go on my own, but wouldn't it be nice to let him take me instead?

I worry that instead of communicating, "I love you, and I want you to be an important part of my life," I'll communicate an "I am needy" or "I am high maintenance" message, which is counter-productive and untrue. How do you balance asking for what you need, with what they need, all without appearing needy?

And yet... Shouldn't we grow to the point where we need another person, at least a little bit? Part of me is concerned with needing a boyfriend/partner/husband too much, not just for his sake, but also for my own. I'm afraid of hurting his feelings if I don't need him enough. But I'm also afraid of overwhelming him if I need him too much. Where is the right balance in all this?

I have many other thoughts related to this, but I will let this suffice for now. And if anyone has advice or suggestions on this topic, I welcome feedback and comments!

June 08, 2016

Running With Boys

Before I delve into the title of this post, please let it be noted – and let the whole world celebrate – that I am a runner once more! After so much time not being able to RUN, of visiting chiropractors, physical therapists, even an orthopedist at one point, I AM RUNNING!! Slowly, but surely. And I am grateful for it!

Now, about running with boys... I have never been an athletic person. This is one of the many reasons I love running. I am slow, but I am dedicated. If I start a run, I will keep running until I am done. That might mean slowing down to a painfully turtle-y pace, but dangitt, I keep running! Needless to say, my slowness means me whilst running does not = me at my finest. So a few weeks ago, when, gasp, a boy, wanted to run with me, I was really hesitant to let him! A- I'm just getting back into running, so I'm extra, extra out of shape... B- This is a boy who is athletic and in much better shape than I am. A boy who rock climbs and plays squash and soccer and such nearly every day. And generally, boys seem to be more athletic than I am, and this one was especially so.

But I had recently read this article (so good!) and remembered this part in particular:

When we first date somebody, we may try to mask our faults and make ourselves as appealing as possible. To develop an honest relationship, however, we must move beyond superficial appearances and allow our true selves to emerge. 

And I was like, awww, crap. My true self in this case = me red-faced, breathless, and sweaty, whilst trudging slowly up the Salt Lake hills, trying desperately to look cool whilst also improving my health. Too soon, I thought... Too soon! But I did it anyway. We went running, and probably due to being so intimidated to run with him, I actually ended up running faster than I normally do. I was red-faced, breathless, and sweaty, but he still seemed to like me at the end, and it was actually kind of fun! Plus, we played on our tire swing afterwards, so that was a win.

I guess what this experience taught me is that it is important to be vulnerable, even in things that might seem trivial. It's scary to open up and let someone see your weaknesses and insecurities, your flaws and all the things you're trying to improve. But how else will they get to know the real you? Odds are, just as you don't completely disregard someone for having a minor flaw, they won't do that to you either, and you'll feel closer to the other person and you'll feel validated, all because you were able to just be you. :)

Running with Boys
A word of advice: if you're going to take a photo, take it BEFORE you go on the run, not AFTER. #fail