Eulogy to A Blender

RIP HB Blender, 2004-2012

I bought you in college in 2004

for under $20; I couldn't ask for more.

Little did I know, when I bought you back then,

you'd last me through college -- and longer than any gent!

From '07 to '09, you took a small break

while I served as a missionary, far from Salt Lake.

Then in August, we headed back down to the U,

to live with Lupita, my baggage, and you.

My internship in Washington meant we had to part ways

but luckily, it wasn't for TOO many days.

Then a full-time DC job: a politica's dream!

But my life here without you had me wanting to scream!

So I went back to Utah to visit my fam,

and I brought you back with me in my suitcase all crammed. 

First we lived in Dupont, then we moved to the 'burbs,

where you sat by the window looking out at the birds.

And then one dark Sunday, you uttered your last.

But you made sure to finish your very last task!

I will think of you fondly as I eat all that soup

(It's potato-red pepper, so you know that it's gooood!)

For nearly a decade, you and me, we were pals.

Through smoothies and turkeys, and lots of good cals.

Now you're still on my counter, because I cannot bear

to chuck you in the garbage, as if I didn't care!

Thank you Hamilton Beach Blender for all the good times.

May you rest now forever, and may I soon stop cryin'!